If I had a dollar for all the minutes/hours/days I waste worrying about things out of my control I’d be rich! I would not be living in IL – you would find me on a beach or traveling the country.
Ever since I was a kid I have been self-conscious. The Junior high years are not an easy age for anyone but I think it’s especially rough for girls. I remember the day I got my braces on like it was yesterday. I had to miss a school trip to get them on. As most people with new braces do, I was still getting used to how they felt in my mouth. I was sitting in scholastic bowl practice and one of the girls pointed and laughed at me and was commenting oh look what she’s doing now and mimicked how I was moving my mouth around to get adjusted to the braces. This was something that happened over 15 years ago but I remember it as if it was yesterday. I felt so small. I was embarrassed. I wanted to cry but couldn’t.
All I have ever wanted was to fit in and be “normal” and accepted. Instead the teasing I experienced only further ostracized me because I began to obsess about what I thought kids in class were saying about me. I would see people whispering and just assumed they must be talking about me. I let them get in my head. I let them win. I realize that now but back then as a teenager I did not. I just kept thinking what can I do to make them stop making fun of me.
I wish I could flash forward to today and say I’ve figured it all out, but I haven’t. I still worry and stress about things that are out of my control. I still care too much about what other people think of me. But what this fitness journey is teaching me is that I’m enough and it shouldn’t matter what anyone else things. So going forward I’m going to focus on being a warrior and not a worrier….
Confessions of a Fitness Convert 