In a Rut..

This blog is a little bit off script from what I had planned to write, but that’s ok! I wanted this blog to be a timeline of my journey from where I started until my present day, but tonight I’m taking a pause from that and writing about what’s been on my mind.

I’m currently in the middle of a 6 week challenge at our gym. I started with the best of intentions to get my eating back on track and continue on with the workouts. The one thing I’ve found is that I really enjoy working out. It feels like a great accomplishment after Its over even though I may be swearing under my breath at my coaches along the way. The weekend workouts at my gym are my favorite. They always have a good variety and the vibe with all the members working out alongside me is great. I was just thinking about how my mindset has changed in the last year or so. Before when people asked what my plans were for the weekend the answer was usually; “relaxing” at home aka doing nothing, meeting up with friends, or hanging with family. Now when someone asks me what I’m doing my very first answer is go to the gym. When I’m traveling and can’t get to the gym on the weekends it’s so hard for me. I’ve gone from craving doing nothing to trying to figure out some way some how to make it to the gym Saturday and Sunday. While it takes a toll on my new car, it’s about 30 miles one way to the gym, it is always worth it.

My biggest hurdle is food. While the gym during these challenges provides recipes and meal plans, i just find it very hard to be consistent with them. I find some excuse like not having enough time or the fact I hate leftovers as a reason to go off plan and eat something I shouldn’t be. The last two months have been BAD. Soda which I had given up for over a year is back in my daily routine. I’m back to visiting our vending machines at work on a daily basis. I’m starting to gain a little bit of the weight I’ve lost back 😦 I’m so scared that this is going to lead to a full collapse of everything I’ve worked so hard to lose. Where did that strong will and determination go from the last year?

Tomorrow is a new day. I’ve done some meal prep and am ready to get my mind right again as a wise woman once told me. Before you can get your life right you have to get your mind right. For those of you who may be facing similar struggles, I feel your pain. But let’s stop saying we’ll get back on track tomorrow and start now! My goal for this week is no food other than what I bring to work and hitting my water goals at least 5 of 7 days. I’m also going to start a log of what I eat which I hope will help hold me more accountable.

I’m tired of taking steps back – time to move forward!